No. 4 Living with ADHD

No. 4 Living with ADHD

It’s 11 am on a Tuesday — Chorlton, Manchester.

An alarm labelled ‘mighty morphin time’ goes off. An internal conflict ignites. 

Hey, what are you doing?

NOTHING

Exactly, you need to take me. you should’ve taken me earlier; have you eaten something yet?

I DON'T WANT TO

You don’t want to take me? Or you don’t want to eat?

LEAVE ME ALONE CONCERTA

You know what happens when you don’t take me.

I FEEL FREE

But at what cost? You are reckless. You hurt people. You hurt yourself.

I HATE YOU…YOU MAKE ME CONFORM

What do you propose instead? Let me guess, you want to sit here in your trauma response nest and ruminate the day away?

ARGHH GO AWAY…HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE

Because there are still traces of me in your system.

YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING…NOT EVERYONE WITH ADHD NEEDS YOU…YOU DIAL ME UP SO MUCH…IT'S EXHAUSTING

Remember what happened when you weren’t dialled up? I’m not just helping you, I’m helping the people around you; you make less mistakes when we’re together. you might not have to take me forever, but for now, I’m the best you’ve got.

WHEN I TAKE YOU I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE THE ONE DRIVING AND I'M JUST SAT IN THE BACK SEAT…I WANT TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL

When you don’t take me, there’s a brick on the accelerator whilst the steering wheel spins round aimlessly. Meanwhile, you’re clinging onto a rope being dragged along the floor behind the car; just look at all of your scars.

BUT I LOVE MY ADHD…I LOVE BEING DIFFERENT…I JUST HATE BEING MISUNDERSTOOD

Your ADHD is beautiful. It’s wonderfully chaotic. It makes you who you are. But it also needs work.

NO ONE APPRECIATES WHAT I GO THROUGH…I'M EXPECTED TO LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT WASN'T BUILT TO FIT ME…I HAVE A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN MY BRAIN AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE…I JUST HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND TAKE YOU SO NO ONE WILL GET MAD AT ME

I know. You have a disability which is infantilised more than it is accommodated and supported.

SO WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO

You take me and do what you do best. You talk to people. You support people. You create. You do everything you can to make this world understand the reality of ADHD.

WHAT IF PEOPLE FIND ME ANNOYING…WHAT IF I SAY THE WRONG THING…WHAT IF I MAKE THE PERCEPTION OF ADHD EVEN WORSE

You’re worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet. Your anxiety is lying to you. you can do this.

FINE. YOU REALLY ARE A BITTER PILL TO SWALLOW

Being diagnosed with and treated for ADHD completely changed my life. In the past two years, I’ve grown and developed in ways I never thought were possible.

With or without medication, when ADHDers are given the recognition, respect and rights we deserve, you see us thrive like never before.

Read the original on Lateral Thoughts 

Noted by Harvey Fletcher

 Cover Photo by @harvey_mcf

(@lateral_talk / @lateral_space)

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